It was the 22th of December 2012, I was 27 years old.

It was the day that I bid goodbye to the corporate world, temporarily. The last time I logged out of my office phone. It was one of the toughest decisions I had to make in my life. I had lots of sleepless nights crying and praying to God before coming up with the final decision. Asking for signs and guidance If what I’m about to do is the right thing to do. It was my first job after graduating from college. My first company, my first corporate experience. A lot of those first I get to experience with new friends I had met there and bonded with.

wacky moments with my team

So you could just imagine how difficult it was to press the send button and email that letter of resignation. That time I had to choose. That time I did choose.

Fast forward to 2015. I am now 30 years old.

It’s been 2 years and 9 months and i am still out of work. From the time I resigned til this very moment, I haven’t applied to any company. A lot of my former colleagues, who are still my good friends today, been suggesting companies where there’s a job opening, where I could apply, which are aligned with my technical skills (I’m on the computer/I.T. field btw). But I haven’t applied to any of them (yet). Why?

I am afraid.

I don’t regret that I took that 2-year break. That 2 years was actually one of the most meaningful times of my life. It was where I got to spend and share more meaningful time with my loved ones. It was where I had the time and chance to fulfill my dream of travelling and exploring places I’ve never been too. It was where I had the time to again reflect, re-align my focus and discover what I really want to happen with my life. It was where I found out who my real friends are. It was a time where I could just REST. Then why am I afraid?

I fear the uncertain.

I fear what’s ahead of me after this 2 years. It’s been two years since I had work. Do I still have the talent that a company is looking for? Can I still meet the requirements needed for a job? Will I be able to catch up with the tight competition in the corporate world again today? These are the questions that’s been the cause of my fear. I know what a lot of you are thinking right now, “How will you know the answer to all of your questions If you wouldn’t try?”

Easy said than done.

Honestly, I don’t know where or how to start. And that first step is always the tricky and the toughest part. One of these days (I hope) I’ll get the chance to find all, if not, at least one or two of the answers to these questions. And I pray that once I have, It’s not yet too late…


Peace out!



14 thoughts on “Uncertainty

  1. Ahwz.. I’m so scared too. Ceramic Robots break easy. You’re so creative and I’m pretty sure that things will work out. Just go after it. Keep us updated. If you can do it. I can do it too!

    Much love. Rooting for you and wishing you nothing but happiness! ❤

  2. I also fell out of corporate world in Nov 2012.

    I am thankful I did. It was mostly because of my intense devotion.

    I took renunciation in 2013. { Ran away from home the day before I had to join for a govt. job }

    Now I am happiest ever. I don’t feel any uncertainty as I have surrendered to life,

    I hope God will give you more courage, faith and light.

    Love and light ❤

    Anand 🙂

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